


Toki is Loki is you shove the top off the T

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:32:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: Yeah I don’t even know, the title explains it.  Of course he’s not actually Loki, but try tellinghimthat...





	Toki is Loki is you shove the top off the T

Skwisgaar and Pickles were working on a new song when Toki burst into the studio wearing a cape. Well, wearing an old bed sheet tied around his neck, but the intent was obvious. He stopped dramatically in front of them.  
Realizing they would get no further until they resolved this... _whatever_ , Pickles decided to start. “Hey there, Toki. What’s with tha cape?”  
“I’s finally realized I’s Loki! I’s a real gods!”

Skwisgaar just snorted, “Everybody ams knowing dat Loki has black hairs and green eyes, so if any of us ams him, it would has to be Nathan. But he amns’t gots de qualifiscations.” He shrugged, “Also he ams way too fats.”  
“He gots blue eyes in the movies!”  
“Movies amns’t reals! Besides, I t’ink dat Tom guy ams British or somet’ing.”

“Alreet, hold up!” Pickles interrupted before they could get further, “Toki, can ya explain _why_ ya think yer Loki all the sudden?”  
“It’s rights in my name! Looks, if you pushes the top off the T, it falls downs and makes L.”  
“Okie, thet’s... Well it’s creative but it’s still pritty shallow, dood. So can ya do any magic?”

Toki frowned, thinking hard. “I can turns vodka into pukes?” He frowned even harder when they both laughed at him. “YOU SHOULDS KNEELS TO ME!”  
“Heh, nope, naught happening. Hey, can ya grab me another beer while yer up?”  
“Noes! This sucks! It’s not everydays you finds out you’s a real gods, and you stupid dildos can’ts even be happys for me!”

“Pfft, if anybody here ams a gods, it woulds be me. I can calls de lightning, sometimes, maybe I’s Thor. Coulds be, ja?”  
“Dood, yer naught Thor. _Way_ too skinny.”  
“Ja I knows, but I mights be his kid. For reals.” He waved the thought away, “Doesn’t even matters if I ams, still gots no dads, jus’ a huge sluts for a moms.”

Toki was still mad. “I’s going to go buys a real cool hats now! I’s Loki if you believes me or nots!” He stomped out of the room, cape flaring, slamming the door behind him.  
Skwisgaar and Pickles exchanged confused but resigned looks.  
The door suddenly slammed back open, and Toki hurled the contents of a bucket at them with a weird scream.

They screamed too, arms up, hands trying to block the... rubber snakes? What the actual fuck?  
“Naught cool, Toki!”  
“ _LOKI!_ I’s a gods now and _YOU WILL_ ADRESSES ME AS SUCH!” He tossed the empty bucket aside with a clatter and stormed back out.

“Okie, well I guess practices are gonna be weirder now. Think he’s done for a while?”  
“Ja.” Skwisgaar was examining a few of the rubber snakes, “Dese are actualies pretty cools, we shoulds puts dem in Nathan’s bed.”  
“Ooh good plan! And we’ll blame it on Toki. He wants to be the gawd of mischief, why not help him out?”

They collected the snakes for later, Toki had even left them a bucket to put them in, how nice.  
“We’re sorta gods anyway? Or something close, dunno why he wants to be a different one. Hey do ya think Nathan’ll kill him over the bed snakes?”  
“Nathan won’ts hurts him.” He reconsidered, “Well, nots too much anyways.”

*****

(A few days later)

Toki had ordered a real cape as well as the helmet, and had been wearing both (over his regular clothes) all over the haus. He’d ordered the Gears to call him Loki, and they obeyed because that was far from the worst thing they’d ever been ordered to do in their service.  
At least he wasn’t carrying knives around.  
Well, as far as anyone knew, he wasn’t.

It turned out that Nathan liked snakes, so he hadn’t even been mad. But he’d refused to give them back, and now they kept turning up in unexpected places, like an empty boot, or a toilet. There also seemed to be a lot more of them then there originally had been...

**Author's Note:**

> Unrelated to this, but way back I gave Toki [Loki horns](https://zsomeone.deviantart.com/art/Demonklok-388955416). (here he just bought a helmet off eBuy or wherever)


End file.
